Me, seeing that a box of peaches has arrived for Kevin, part of a gift subscription from his parents for his birthday last year: “I hope you’re not going to ignore the peaches I’ve spent FIVE YEARS growing for you, just to eat those.”
Kevin: “This could be the subject of an entire sitcom — do I eat your peaches, or my mother’s peaches?”
Dear reader, do not fret! I saved Kevin from this fraught decision, taking the ripest of his mother’s peaches and slicing it up to have with strawberry ice cream, yum.
What a good wife I am, looking out for him that way.